Day 5: Friendship Matters

Today and yesterday, two of my friends stopped by and I was almost going to cancel going out to lunch given all I had to do. Another came by today, and I almost cancelled too. Ironically both friends had years ago shared a book with me called the "Friendship Factor."  It's a wonderful book about how to get close to the people you care about. The first chapter talks about the rewards of friendship.


We spent a wonderful afternoon, talking, sharing, and laughing. I almost missed out on the rewards of their company and the fun we had spending time together. 

I asked one of my friends when it comes to friendship what matters. She said having friends who encourage you and who spend time with you.

Lesson 5 in Every Day  Like It Matters: Show your friends they matter. Spend time with them. Do something that they like to do and want to do.  Enjoy all its rewards and more. Take a few notes from the Friendship Factor: "Devote Yourself to Friendship!

Day 4: Making the Time to Reach Out to Others Matters

As I watched the news about the earthquake in Chili, there was a message broadcasted about warnings to other parts of the world like Hawaii.  I empathized with those who didn't know how family and friends are making out or those who lost a loved one who they had not talked to in a long time.

I  thought about a friend's daughter who also is one of my adopted nieces. She joined the military this past year, and there are times we've texted each other to catch up on how she is doing. I have not reached out or talked to her in two months, although in my mind I had intended to send her a card  but never got around to it. When I called her number, it was disconnected. Now, I'm thinking about out last conversation and it makes me sad.

As I watched the news, I also reflected on others who I have not gotten around to contacting as I have been caught up in my own life race. Another friend died a few weeks ago. The week before he died, I had thought of him, and told myself I would stop by but, again,I never got around to it.

I imagine there are those who watched the updates on the earthquake in Haiti, the earthquake in Chili, or even the flood in New Orleans, who never got around to contacting someone they had thought of but may never see again.

Lesson 4 in Everday Like It Matters: Get around to reach out to the people who matter to you in your life.

Do this especially if there is someone you have thought of or have not seen in a long time. Follow your gut if you feel led to talk to or visit someone. It may just make a difference to not only the person but to you  if something were to happen. It may not require anymore than sending a card or making a call.

Day 3: A Returned Call Matters

For the last couple of days I've been listening to voicemail to hear what messages I've conveyed about how much a person matters to me.  With my new project, living life like it matters, I'm giving added attention to calling people back. I have had times where I'll run into friends who ask me,"Did you get my message?" or "Do you know how to return calls?" 


Sometimes, I'm guilty of telling someone I'll call them right back but it may not occur for another day or two.  I sincerely intend to, but sometimes instead of saying I'm in the middle of something that may limit my ability to call I say I'll call them back then don't do it until days later. Other times, I get pulled into another set of calls and lose track of who I was to call.

I took time yesterday to listen to all my messages in a way I had never done before. Some messages reminded me that I need to handle my callers like they matter.

My friends and family messages have sent their own message to me too: Not calling back is like saying to someone, "you are not a priority."

I'm making my callers matter more. Today and moving forward I'm not telling the person I am going to call them right  back unless I know for sure I can do it. I will also ask callers if they are okay and if everything is alright. If they're not, I  will hang up from my current call.

Lesson 3 in Every Day Like It Matters:
Return your call calls to show someone they matter. If you're on another and call waiting sends you to another line, either let it go into voicemail or give a real return call time. 

Sales and Customer service organizations have SLAs, or service level agreements, which define how long it will take to resolve a customer's issue or follow up with a customers.

My life matters SLA is "same day or next day." If an emergency prevents me from calling back, I make sure I call the person as soon as I can and explain why, not make excuses like (you know how I am; I know I'm ragged; or don't be mad with me).


 I will no longer let an unreturned call send a wrong message about how I feel about the people in my life.

Day 2: Make People Feel They Matter

It's the day after my birthday, and yes I'm on day two of my life matters project. Watching a great BMW commercial that states "what you make people feel is just as important as what you make."

My husband must have watched the commercial because he's giving me another birthday dedication and it's the day after my birthday.  He tells me that the only thought that should matter is that I trust Him.  I say, "okay with me!" but like a woman, wonder what's planned.

He left work early yet  I ended my work day at the usual time. We both dressed up, and one hour later a car service held us in the back seat  heading toward Washington, DC to an undisclosed location.  My husband squeezed my hand along the way, and I was as giddy as when we first met.  He seemed to read my thoughts, when he asked, "do you want to know where you're going?"

I knew it was important to him that I be enthusiastic. I replied with sincere enthusiasm, "you know I am. I want to know where we're going. Don't you want me to know?"    He seemed content with my response and just gave me one of his big adoring smiles, laughed, offered nothing and zero hints.

I looked out the window thinking this guy I call my husband sure knows how to make a woman feel joy in her heart. This is definitely a day that a woman would not be thinking she wants a trade. It was like I was in BMW's commercial, only we were in a Lincoln Town Car.  When we pulled up  to the Kennedy Center and  were ushered into the Stevie Wonder Concert, I was filled with more joy.

That night we danced to the music of Stevie Wonder. As Steve sang "Higher Ground" my husband's actions told me I was important and his eyes said my joy mattered to him. There was no need for one of those "he loves; he loves me not moments." I was feeling like our relationship was on higher ground.

At the end of the evening I thanked him and let him know that would never forget what he did for me. I showed him his actions mattered.

Lesson 2 in Every day like it matters:
The way you make people feel matters, especially around significant events, like a birthday. Show them by making a sacrifice or doing something you wouldn't normally do.  Leave work early.  Take time off for the ones you love and  consider buying tickets to an event.  If you are on the receiving end of a you matter event, don't forget to show that what was done matters too.

Day 1: My Birthday Matters

This year I intend to treat every day like it  matters, and I'm going to write about all my life matters experiences.  I'm going to examine what it takes to live a life that matters and how to make the people in my life matter too. I am going to not just say someone matters but show them that they matter.

Everyone of every age needs affirmation. Study your life or those of the people in your own circle, and you'll agree that whether at work, or home, or in school, or a relationship everyone wants to feel like they matter.  I also love the idea of  projects that others have undertaken in the pursuit of happiness or following Oprah or some other  worthy cause for 365 days.

Lesson 1 in Every day like it matters:

Birthdays due matter.

This year, I didn't try to advertise my birthday. I didn't have it posted on facebook, and I didn't send an advanced announcement.

However, others still knew or shared it with others. My family understandably knew, and they would know, given they've spent all their life with me. None the less, I still felt good when other family members called, and especially my mother, who always calls each year around the time I was born. My heart jumped up and down when my husband woke me up and sang happy birthday and shared that he had a surprise for me.He took a day off and dedicated it to me and what I wanted. My heart said, I matter to him.

Most of us want to be acknowledged on the day we were born. When it happens on our birthday it sends the message that we matter to the  person who says happy birthday.  I didn't realize how much hearing a happy birthday or not getting a birthday greeting would or wouldn't matter.  Every call, every card, facebook message, or other expression made me feel like I was valued. What especially touched me, in addition to my family, was the number of friends who sent their greetings, which also  made me feel like my birthday mattered to them also.


I'm going to commit to show everyone one I know this year that their birthday matters. This is the perfect time to commit to this resolution. I treat every birthday like my own new year's day. I reflect on the past year and what I've accomplished. I also reflect on what I haven't accomplished and how I want to make my life better or where I want to be by the same time next year.

Join me in my life matters project. 


.